The GetHuman Project is a vol­un­teer Website devoted to improv­ing the qual­ity and speed of tele­phone sup­port and ser­vice sys­tems in the US. The Website offers gen­eral tips and advice for speed­ing through and get­ting the most out of deal­ing with any com­pany over the phone. For instance, did you know that most com­pa­nies’ Spanish sup­port queue is often a poten­tially much shorter wait than the English queue, and that most oper­a­tors on the Spanish queue are bilin­gual, offer­ing sup­port in English as well? Chose uno and maybe you’ll be helped and off the phone faster than you would if press­ing two.

The most use­ful advice pro­vided by GetHuman is the GetHuman 500 Database, an invalu­able resource list­ing spe­cific meth­ods to cut through phone sys­tem menus and voice prompts to–you guessed it–get a human on the line. America On-Line, for exam­ple, who no longer even lists a cus­tomer ser­vice phone num­ber on their Website, has a pri­mar­ily voice-only tele­phone sys­tem. If you can’t enun­ci­ate to the system’s sat­is­fac­tion your prob­lem, secret ques­tion answer, desired depart­ment, prob­a­ble prob­lem area, and favorite Spice Girl, then you’re out of luck. The sys­tem doesn’t even offer the abil­ity to press but­tons for most of its prompts. Fortunately, the GetHuman 500 Database has the secret fin­ish­ing move code–up, up, left, down, right, right, down… Whoops! I mean: 0 (zero), repeat­edly while stay­ing silent dur­ing all requests for vocal interaction.

Even with the secret codes, there’s no guar­an­tee of reach­ing a com­pe­tent human, just that you will reach a human.

Next time you have to call your ISP, cable com­pany, credit card issuer, air­line, or just about any­where else, check the GetHuman 500 Database for the fastest way through to get­ting to a human.

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