As in Maury Povich of the Maury Show.
In “The Cost of Page Rank“, Doug Bowman writes about the unique problem presented to blogs when Google gives too high a page rank.
Matt [Haughey] has a theory why so many people blindly believe they’ve found the right place to leave comments, or get in touch with some person or entity. And I agree with him. In fact, I’d take his theory a step further. To many people, the Google search box is synonymous with the browser’s location field. It’s the same thing to them. With the Google Toolbar installed in IE, (or because it pre-exists in other browsers) the search field is almost indistinguishable from the browser’s location field. “I type something into that field, and Google takes me where I want to go.”
To prove his point, Doug references (without directly referencing) a couple of posts on his own blog, “Starting Over“ being one, that share the name of a popular television show. That commonality is giving Doug’s post a top ranking in Google. When fans of the “Starting Over“ show search Google, they find Doug’s post (currently ranked number two below the show’s official site) and believe it to be the site for the actual show. Consequently they comment their dis/approval of the show’s content or attempt to contact the show’s producers.
On my personal blog I’ve encountered the same phenomenon with unexpectedly high page rankings. Doing a google search for “teen titans game“ yields results similar to Doug’s: Cartoon Network’s page for the Teen Titans Flash game as result number one, and, as number two and three, my blog post from eleven months ago (entitled “Nifty Teen Titans Game“) wherein I simply wrote:
Teen Titans – BattleBlitz
Pretty cool Flash-based fighting game.
I can’t wait for this show to actually start. It looks like it might be a lot of fun.
Because of the Google ranking, my twenty-eight word June 2003 post has become the hot spot for requesting tech support and hacks for the game.
Another one of my posts is in the top ten for “ undeletable file“, which is actually a good thing since other people are benefitting from the solution I found to a common Windows technical problem. John Gruber had virtually identical results with his post about a technical solution for an OS X problem energy saver not loading.
While my “undeletable file” and John’s “energy saver won’t load” being ranked high are a good thing for people dealing with those technical problems, Google rankings can become misleading to the general public and annoying to bloggers. (I couldn’t care less about the junk being posted to my “Nifty Teen Titans Game” post.)
On 28 July, 2002 Ryan MacMichael posted to his blog an innocuous little anecdote about his visit to New York and seeing the “Maury Show” as a member of the studio audience. Today, 28 May, 2004, twenty-two months later, people are still commenting, begging for Maury’s help.
I just need Maury’s email… I need for him to help me on a search of my never known father.
Im from Puerto Rico…. Maybe is to late he should be dead by now but still I must have family on his side. Just need to discover this part of my life. My mother died and never wanted me to talk about it. he hated him ….I never wanted to make her mad so never talked about it.Now Im 50. I was born in NY,
the rest is history
Wrote one desperate man. A young girl with stars in her eyes writes:
I need Maury’s email address because I need to contact him. My dreams of being a young movie/tv actress are no where near to comming true and I have no support from anyone and this all is just tairing me up inside. I’m almost 15 and my dreams are no where near comming true.
Then there are the real tear jerkers:
I NEED MAURY”S EMAIL ADDRESS BECAUSE I WANT TO HELP OTHER TEENS WHO ARE BEING ABUSED. IM 15 YEARS OLD AND I LIVE IN CHICAGO. I WAS LIVING IN OHIO WITH MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER FOR TWO YEARS. 2 OR 3 MONTHS AFTER I WAS THERE HE STARTED TOUCHING ME INWAYS I DIDNT LIKE.HE MADE ME GIVE HIM ORAL SEX AND HE TRIED TO HAVE SEX WITH ME. WHEN MY MOM TOLD THE POLICE THEY SAID HIS ACTIONS WHERE CONSIDERED RAPE. I NOW HAVE TO SEE A THERAPIST EVERY THURSDAY AND I HAVE TO SEE A DOCTOR EVERY 6 MONTHS TO MAKE SURE IM ALRIGHT. I WANT TO BE ON THE MAURY SO I CAN TRY TO HELP OTHER TEENS LIKE ME TELL IF THEY ARE BEING ABUSED OR IF THEY WERE RAPED. MY DAD IS IN JAIL NOW WHERE HE CANT GET TO ME. I ALSO WROTE SOME POEMS AND I WANT HELP PUBLISHING THEM SO THEY CAN ENCOURAGE TEENS EVERY WHERE TO NOT BE AFFRAID. SO PLEASE HELP ME.
And…
I need Maury’s address. My name is Andrea and I’m 16 years old. My 11 year old sister’s best friend Jeanette, her mother is dying from Pancreatic cancer. Jeanette’s mom is all she has, and the chemo and radiation are not working. She’s in the last couple of months, the dotors don’t think she has much longer. I’ve come to adore Jeanette. She’s a wonderful and strongwilled child. I only wish, Maury, that in these next couple of months, maybe they could do something wonderful together (her and her mom). I don’t have the money to, bt maybe you could help. Anything would be a miracle. Just something special. Both of them are going to be missing outon so much so soon. Please help. If you reply, I will send my phone number and address. Please help.
The comments go on like that, people asking for aid of one type or another to themselves or a loved one. A couple praise Maury for his televised assistance to different people. Others, like the young rape victim above, ask Maury to help them help those less fortunate. I lost count of the letters to Maury after fifty.
This morning Ryan shut off the commenting feature saying: “Well, since this has fallen into a state of boring and stupid responses (many of which I deleted for their sheer lack of humor) time to shut off comments for this baby.”
Google’s page ranking algorythm has lead to confusion and the misdirection to blogs of those people seeking one thing or another, like “Starting Over”, Teen Titans game support, and the “Maury Show”. Upon misdirection, many figure out that the resulting site isn’t the one they sought. Quite a few, as evidenced by the comments, don’t ascertain the distinction.
I agree with Matt’s hypothesis that many, many people online don’t get the concept of blogs and blog posts about a TV show. As he states in this post referencing yet another case of a blog post about a television show being confused for the official site of that show: ”my guess is that regular folks see Google as an internet appliance, and when you put in ‘overhaulin’ you will get the right site as the first result and if that site asks for comments, it must be the show, right?”
The lesson here is that, for now, bloggers should be careful about the titles of their posts less they get too high a Google page ranking. I say “for now” because, before too long, the porn sites will figure out this little trick and stuff their pages with references to “Survivor,” “The Apprentice,” Mark Cuban‘s “The Benefactor,” and, of course, the “Maury Show,” thus knocking us happless bloggers so far down Google’s ranking that misdirected Dear Maury mail will no longer be an issue.
P.S. Reading the comments to Maury Povich on Ryan MacMichael‘s blog really tugged at my heart. Granted, a few of them are probably bullshit attempts to get on television—Springer has proven there are enough morons willing to do anything to get their mugs broadcast to laundromats and trailer parks everywhere. One prime example of such a moron is Jerry Springer himself. But, the majority of those pleas on for help on Ryan’s site rung sincere to me.
What about those people? What about Bethany who asked for some help for her mother, a woman who gives her two daughters everything she can, while shopping exclusively at Goodwill for herself? And what about Betty, the grandmother begging Maury to help her reunite with her long lost granddaughter? There’s also Heather, a woman who can’t afford to have her leaking breast implant removed despite mounting health problems related thereto. What about them?
Was the extent of Ryan MacMichael’s response to simply ridicule them? Are they sitting at home (or a shelter, as the case may be) in the mistaken belief that they’ve sent their pleas for help to Maury? Are they waiting by the phone or friend’s computer for an answer? All of these people left e‑mail addresses—some even posted snail mail addresses. Did Ryan give them the correct contact information for the “Maury Show”?
If he has a heart, I sincerely hope he did.
hi my name is orrel maury i need help on finding her but this is what i know here name is betty l. buffin and i kove
hey maury i have a troubled 7 year old i dunno if this is how to do it or not but he is gettin out of hand iam from alberta canada and i dunno what lengths to take anymore he had a knife today and cut up our trampoline and then threatened the boy who lived next door with i need help i have tried to find boot camps or tough love programs out here but have had no sucess please maury can you help me and my 7 year old he is adhd and odd as well and is on medication and does not seem to work we are lookin for help in anyway please e mail me back thanks
amanda flannery