Off to Texas Again

I have to say, I real­ly like Texas. Though I’ve nev­er lived there, and my opin­ion might be dif­fer­ent if I had, I’ve vis­it­ed Texas more than a hand­ful of times now. Each time has been a won­der­ful expe­ri­ence, whether it was a fly-in/fly-out one-day con­sul­ta­tion in Dallas, two weeks on-site in Fort Worth, or a spon­ta­neous road­trip from Florida to El Paso. The big-smile-hospitality and come-on-in atti­tude of Texas has nev­er dis­ap­point­ed me.

Down there, they even know how to dri­ve well–trust me on this, I’ve dri­ven in 42 of the United States, sev­er­al Canadian provinces, parts of Mexico, and through most major North American cities. Texans in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area in par­tic­u­lar dri­ve well.

They speed–as a rule, not as an exception–and those who don’t speed (tourists) are quick­ly ostra­cized to the out­side lane. Texans, though, know how to speed; they don’t rush and stop, rush and stop. Rather, every­one speeds uni­form­ly with­in his lane. There’s a speed limit+10 lane, a speed limit+20 lane, and the holy-crap-I’m-late-for-work lane.

Cars sold in Texas don’t come equipped with turn sig­nals, but Texas dri­vers are redeemed by their oth­er qual­i­ties. They know, for exam­ple, the ancient Aztec secret of Highway Merging, and they prac­tice it reli­gious­ly. In Philadelphia, cars often sit stopped at onramps for sev­er­al min­utes before they find the space to mus­cle into the flow of traf­fic. When one is try­ing to turn left across a high­way, Texans will stop and wave one through–in Boston, such heresy would be met with the caco­phany of angry horns and shout­ed obscen­i­ties. In New Jersey, you’d be killed for it and your car stripped while you lay dying in it.

In Texas, one won’t be shot for any­thing less than steal­ing a man’s horse, dog, boat, or wife (in that order of impor­tance). Avoid those activ­i­ties, and Texans will treat a guest with absolute­ly hospitality.

This lat­est trip to Texas–to Fort Worth, specifically–is a return trip to teach the won­der­ful (and tal­ent­ed) design staff of Lockheed-Martin. Which means I also get the oppor­tu­ni­ty to be (hap­pliy) buzzed by low-flying F‑16s punch­ing their after­burn­ers 75 feet above the ground to set off a park­ing lot full of car alarms. Hopefully, I will also have the chance to tour the F‑16 pro­duc­tion plant again–a mile long stretch of fac­to­ry that starts one end with giant blocks of raw steel and alu­minum and ends with paint­ed, ready-to-fly airplanes.

I’m also look­ing for­ward to some good bar­beque. And, of course, being able to feel rel­a­tive­ly safe on I‑30 at 85 MPH.